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[My Mother's Blog]  Practical Modesty
Shoes - Socks - Dresses,
Jumpers & Skirts - Shirts & Blouses
- Culottes The Bible instructs Christian women to dress with modesty and sobriety. Most of us agree with this theory. In this article I explain my interpretation of modest apparel in practical terms. My understanding of modest clothing is only one woman's opinion. I share it to satisfy other's curiosity and to provide an example. These ideas are mine. They are not divinely written and are not in the Bible. They come very much from a mortal woman with all of the flaws and limitations of humanity. Be sure to use your own good judgement, plenty of prayer and study to determine your own standards.
Shoes Athletic shoes are a must for anyone who exercises daily, runs after wiggly toddlers, or finds themselves walking any distance. When we play outside, explore the woods or go for our morning walk, we need good support for our feet. I found a brand of tennis shoes that was reasonably priced and that fit me well. When the pair I have wears out, I buy another in the same brand and shape. Sneakers are used as status symbols in some circles. The sneakers we wear should confirm our modesty, not our materialism. Be sure not to wear sneakers that send messages that aren't biblical. I prefer plain white sneakers with ankle support and firm arch support. Mine cost $15 at my local dollar store. The next pair of shoes I own is a plain, flat, leather loafer. They cost about $25 at my local discount super-store and are so comfortable that I could live in them forever. I prefer black because it is versatile enough to match pretty much all of my clothing. When my old loafers are getting too scuffed to wear to church, I buy a new pair and save them for church only. When the old pair is pretty much done in, I switch to the church shoes, and then buy a new pair for church when the current pair becomes worn. This method has kept me in good, comfortable shoes on a regular basis. I like wearing the same type of shoes day in and day out. I used to be a shoe hound. Close friends and family often called me Imelda, after Imelda Marcos who had over 2000 pairs of shoes. I didn't have quite that many, but I did own more than I needed. Pairing down the number of shoes I own has really blessed me. The final type of shoe you need is a pair of boots for foul weather. I have warm black boots that are well insulated and perfect for winter wear. They are a few years old and still in good shape. Whatever type of boot you choose, make it the same color as your everyday shoes. This will simplify matters significantly. Be sure to choose boots that will accommodate the inclement weather you face most often. If you live in Florida, rubber rain boots will probably be more useful than warm snow boots. Snow boots are a necessity in Minnesota or Maine. To go without them is to invite frostbite and foot amputation. Choose boots that meet the requirements you need for your circumstances.
Socks In addition to the black knee-highs, I wear plain white bobby socks. In the summertime they are cooler than stockings and for exercise or other athletic activities, they are more practical. I wear my bobby socks with my tennis shoes and denim dresses or skirts. They are comfortable and look cute together.
Dresses,
Jumpers & Skirts One good idea to use when looking at dresses and fabrics is to ask yourself if it will match the shoes and socks you already own. Not just in color, but in style. If the answer is yes, then the dress or fabric is a good choice. If the answer is no, then be careful. Any dress that demands special shoes is a burden to a modest woman's wardrobe. If the dress is too fashionable to look appropriate with your practical shoes, then it is probably too fashionable to be worn by a Christian woman. Next examine the cut of the dress. Are the sleeves long enough to cover your arms appropriately. I like my sleeves to reach at least half-way between my shoulder and elbow. Any shorter than that and too much of my upper arm shows through. Some women prefer only 3/4-length sleeves or longer. This is an individual matter and I leave it to your discretion to determine which is best for you. After the sleeves, look at the neckline. The shape of the neckline or collar is not as important as the depth of it's cut. Because I am a plus-sized woman with a short neck, I look more balanced in a neckline that shows a bit of my collar bone. I am careful however, not to allow any of my necklines to be cut low enough to show even a hint of cleavage. A good rule of thumb is that if a neckline shows your bra, it is probably cut too wide or too low to be decent. Pay close attention to the fit of the garment. Remember, you want it to fit loosely, not tightly. If you need to wear a girdle with a dress to make it look right, it is too tight. I prefer dresses and jumpers that skim over my body with plenty of room for movement. I'm an active woman, and I need enough space in my clothing to run a busy household. The last part to consider is the fullness and length of the skirt. My standard is that my knees must be covered. In order to sit modestly, my skirt needs to be full and long enough to cover me neatly. If a dress or skirt must be slit up the side to allow for walking ease, it is too tight for me to wear modestly. A-line and full skirts do not need slits for walking ease. They are also more comfortable than straight skirts under most circumstances. For these reasons I have pretty much done away with straight skirts in my wardrobe. I like a few gathers for comfort and ease and for the distance the gathers place between my body and the clothing I wear. My apparel of preference is jumpers. For me they give the covering and ease of a dress with the versatility of a skirt. I could live the rest of my life happily in jumpers. Some seasons they are more popular than others, so patterns and ready-to-wear garments are easier to find. Other seasons you have to hunt, or rely on patterns already purchased. Jumpers offer me the double coverage of Cape Dresses but allow me more variations. I find jumpers to be extremely comfortable, easy to sew, attractive to wear and infinitely practical. If you have never really given jumpers a good try, then I encourage you to do so.
Shirts & Blouses Once again, be careful of the neckline, any clingy or translucent fabrics and the length of the sleeves. I don't wear t-shirts with words written on them or with pictures of kittens or pumpkins or other things. If you choose to do so then use your common sense. I used to buy a lot of my t-shirts in the men's section because they were good quality and inexpensive. I don't any longer. According to Deuteronomy 22:5 it is an abomination for women to wear men's garments, so I no longer wear men's t-shirts or turtlenecks. Women's t-shirts are usually cut to fit the female shape better, and with careful buying can be just as cheap as men's t-shirts. If you wear a lot of sweaters with your skirts, be sure they do not cling or emphasize your bosom. The intention of sweaters is to keep us warm, not to advertise our wares.
Culottes or
Split Skirts I have tried to do my morning walk while wearing a dress or skirt. Because I am plus sized I quickly wound up with a case of thigh-burn that took a couple of days to heal. Now I prefer to walk my morning miles in a split skirt because it makes things much easier. In the winter I wear bike shorts or leggings under my dresses to reduce friction and add warmth. In the spring and summer however, culottes are much more comfortable. I do not wear culottes or split skirts to church or town. I use them specifically for athletic activities. When I climb trees to pick fruit, I wear culottes. When I rake the yard and jump in the leaves or ride a horse I wear culottes. Some people feel that culottes are just as immodest as any form of shorts or jeans. I used to feel that way myself, but I've changed my mind. After seeing rumbly-tumbly girls playing outside, and remembering the type of girl I was growing up, I realize there is a vital need for modest women and girls to have an occasional alternative to dresses and skirts. For me culottes are the perfect alternative. When choosing or making culottes, there are a few points to consider. First off make sure they fit more like a skirt than a pair of shorts. You want them to be long, gathered and to have some flow about the fabric. Some women will make a panel that hangs down from the waist to the hem, to cover the front and back centers of the culottes. This gives them a nice "cowgirl" image that is sporty and attractive to wear. Culottes are not as easy to find as they once were. When they come back in style it will be easier to find them. Until then culottes can usually be found in mail order catalogs and almost always in patterns. Check out the resources page to see what's available on-line.
Undergarments On the practical side I emphasize the need for ladies to wear slips under their dresses and skirts, and camisoles under blouses. Slips and camisoles keep our clothing at a proper distance from our bodies. Without them, skirts and blouses have a tendency to cling to the wrong places. Cotton slips are the most comfortable in summertime, while standard nylon slips may be worn during the rest of the year. I keep a collection of slips because I wear them so often. I recommend having at least 2 full slips, 1 half slip and 1 camisole. Of the full slips, one should be dark and one light. The half slip should be full and long to fit under you skirts and dresses. The camisole should be light colored and match the half slip if that is convenient. I find full slips more comfortable than half slips because full slips skim the waist while half slips bind it. Full slips also make handy nightgowns when you are vacationing and need to pack lightly. In the wintertime I wear homemade bloomers or knickers. They can be made from any shorts pattern with a slim fit and elastic waist. A little lace around the edge of the legs makes a pretty embellishment. I prefer my bloomers to fall right above or right below my knees. You may prefer yours to be longer or shorter. Some women run elastic through the hem for warmth. I prefer mine to hang straight because I don't like my legs to feel bound. For winter wear I usually make them from flannel. While you are making bloomers it is an easy matter to run up a couple of sleeveless blouses or camisoles to match the bloomers. Wearing plain clothing on the outside makes me very fond of matching and attractive garments on the inside. I am guilty of indulgence in this area. Use your own judgement to discern what is best for your circumstances.
Keeping Warm Layering is the best way to keep warm. Long underwear or leggings topped with a flannel slip, a turtleneck and a wool jumper can maintain a lot of warmth. Add a cardigan sweater over the jumper and turtleneck and a long fleece coat with mittens and a flannel headcovering or wool hat and you are pretty much prepared for walking the dog during the worst snow storm of the decade. My hometown is in Minnesota where it gets very cold. I have worn dresses and skirts during some of the worst weather you can imagine. The key to staying warm is to think ahead, dress for the weather and wear plenty of layers.
Jewelry As far as necklaces, earrings, pins and all the rest of the jewelry available today, I avoid as much of it as possible. If it doesn't further my commitment to Jesus Christ, my family, or fulfill a specific practical need (like knowing the time), then it is superfluous, and best avoided. In my more carnal days jewelry was very precious to me. Not valuable jewelry like diamonds, but decorative jewelry like dollar store earrings and yard sale necklaces. I even had my ears pierced several times so that I would be able to call more attention to my wantonness. Letting go of my jewelry was one of the symbols that had the most impact on my walk with God. It reminded me that I had dedicated myself to His service, and not to worldly lusts. If you find jewelry distracting you from your service to God or your family, I urge you to consider the matter prayerfully. It may be that you too are being called to let it fall to the wayside, or to crucify on the cross.
Make-up
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